The Epistles of
St. Paul, especially his letter to the Ephesians, have much to teach us about
the Sacrament of marriage. St. Paul is very clear that marriage is not only
good but is a sacrament. He goes on to explain the relationship that should
exist between a husband and a wife.
We know that
Christ considered marriage good; after all he performed his first miracle while
present with his mother at a wedding, the wedding of Canna.[1]
St. Paul goes further to acknowledge that marriage is not just a good thing but
is a sacrament. In the book of Ephesians St. Paul calls marriage a sacrament,
saying “sacramentum hoc magnum est.” (This is a great sacrament)[2]
In marriage the husband and wife, who are both members of Christ’s body by virtue
of their baptism, become a living symbol of the union that exists between
Christ and His Church. Thus when couples live together, giving their lives for
each other, they accurately express the reality that exists between Christ and
His Church and are a source of edification for the whole Church. On the other
hand, however, when couples don’t live their marriages faithfully they are a
cause of great scandal to the Church.
St. Paul goes on
to elaborate on the roles of the husband and wife. St. Paul does not tell
husbands and wives exactly how the affairs of the household should be ordered
but does make it clear the spouses should be subject to one another and that
husbands are heads of their wives and wives should be submissive to their
husbands.[3]
Many modern day feminists baulk at this statement of St. Paul and call it
sexist. If one continues to read, however, they realize how beautiful this
statement really is. St. Paul continues “husbands should love their wives, just
as Christ loved the Church
and sacrificed himself for her.”[4]
The words of St.
Paul placing the husband as heads of their wives can then only be understood in
the context of Jesus Christ. St. Paul places married love in the same context
as sacrificial love. Husbands are called to sacrifice for their wives just as
Christ sacrificed for the Church. Christ gave up everything for his Church. He underwent
extreme torture, had a crown of thorns placed on his head, was hung naked on a
cross for all to see and had most of his closest friends abandon him, all done
out of love for the Church. It is this exact love demonstrated by Christ that
husbands are called to give to their wives. What woman does not want that love?
It seems that these feminists argue against St. Paul’s theology of marriage because
they have not yet experienced true manhood.
When understood
properly the sacrament of marriage is beautiful. The love shared between
husband and wife mirrors the love that Christ has for His Church. This love of
Christ for His Church is a sacrificial love and thus married couples are called
to live out lives of radical sacrifice for each other.
[1] Jn 2:1-11
[2] Eph 5: 32
Our current translation reads “This
is why a man
leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and the two
become one flesh. This mystery
has great significance, but I am applying it to Christ and the
Church.”(Eph 5:31-32) Yet the Latin
vulgate cited above more literally translates “this is a great sacrament.”
[3] Eph 5: 21-24.
[4] Eph 5:25
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